In the Midst of All Challenges

        I am normally pretty good in handling situations in my life.  Things that are hard are normally challenging and yet, I normally come out on top of it.  There are times that I can't and I gave up, I have given up and yet I feel so contented for I know that things are beyond my self capability.  These things and situations don't bother me much, don't affect me much.  I was humble enough to accept that there are things and situations that are beyond my control.

       I am confronted with so much things, emotional challenges, faith, self confidence etc.  For the last few days I was bothered.  There are sleepless nights.  There self searching.  There are so much prayers.  There are doubts. I don't really know what to do.

      I often asked, "did God really call me to be part of His great design of evangelising people?"  "Am I really capable of doing things like this?"  "Why am I hunted with doubts, with dis-self belief?"  "why would no one be there and help me?" I am weak and frail.  I am lost.

     There are too many questions that challenge me and my faith.  I am giving up.  I am losing the will to move forward.  I am confronted with my fear and doubts, and so on. I know I have the BIG GOD that won all the challenges in my life.  I know I have a BIG GOD that carry me in times I am weak and helpless. I know that GOD never abandons me. Yet again, I couldn't help myself but to convince myself again and again and  make my self feel and believe that what I know is real.

     When walking inside a dark tunnel and no one to turn to, what would you do?  When there seems no assurance that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, what would you do?  I don't know.  All I can think off is cling on to prayers.  I think, this moment in time, I need more of this. I could do with others praying for me as well.

     Lets us pray together:

     In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and Of the Holy Spirit.

     Father in heaven, you are the source of all strength.  You have won the most difficult challenge in life when you die on that cross.  Father, I am asking you to just take away all this burdens in my heart.  Please inspire me ones again so I would not lay my sword down.  Please spare from all the doubts and worries about You and about myself.  Please be with me all the time father.  I ask this in Jesus name.  Amen.